first time in a long time

That an episode of Grey's made me tear up. Callie's breakdown was ::ok hand motion::
I hate that I blog about tv, but what else do I have really?

Anyways, there are a lot of things in my head right now. I mean, I'm no crazy, like Izzie Stevens, but there's so much goin' on up there. I have a lot of time to think, you know? No job, well, technically no job yet. So I have a lot of time to think.

Just because I'm not in school anymore, doesn't mean I still can't procrastinate. I'm procrastinating on life right now. And it's not because I'm lazy (well, it is a little bit), but it's because I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't think I've told anyone that, well besides Him. But hell yeah, I'm scared. Call me a wussy if you want. I'm not saying I'm no good at anything, but what if what I'm good at, won't take me anywhere? I'm scared that I'm going to fail. I'm scared that everything I've learned these past few years, not just in school, but in my faith, the things I learned about who I am, are just going to fade away.

I usually don't like when there is such a negative blog post, then one ties it up with an encouraging outlook on life, but that's exactly what I'm going to do. I know I'm scared and that I might not be strong enough. But it's not MY strength that I need. It's His.

Anyways, enough about that. I teared up today during Grey's (what a sap) and I also shed a few during the meeting on Tuesday. It's been a while since I've cried during praise & worship, but I Adore always gets to me. This is the first time in a while where I didn't just cry because I was sad or stressed about something, but just to be in His presence. To feel His love over everything else. It was amazing.

If you didn't know, I'm Guiding Lights new music director. :D exciting! Although the duties are quite similar to what I did as music ministry head in Liwanag, it's challenging me in new ways. I love it. It's most definitely not going to be easy, but it's most def worth it. Pray for me & pray for us!

Also, my tita woke up from her coma, but she's just barely hanging on. She's moved out of the icu, but is now in hospice care at the nursing home. Please keep her and my family in your prayers.

While this is irrelevant to what I talked to in my post, everytime Meredith Grey starts her closing dialogue on the episode it gets to me:

The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain; they connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic, because some ties are simply meant to be.

Amen to that, sister.
Goodnight!