I love you

Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It may all be gone tomorrow.

I know you know this, but if for some reason you forgot, I love you.

Haven't posted on here in a minute

Most of my random happenings have been on my Tumblr, but since Cressa blogged I've decided to post one up here.

Mini update on my life:
1. Work is chill. I really like some of the kids, and I really don't like some as well. It is satifying knowing that some of the kids really like me. Of course the sole filipino kid loves me. And OF COURSE one of my favorite kids happens to be the jerk. -_-
2. Music is awesome. In relation to my voice lessons, I recorded in the studio again last week and it was different. I would say that I've improved, but there's still a long long long journey ahead. And it's really hard work.
3. Music in relation to serving is taking a new turn for me. Spirit Rally praise and worship has really reopened the gates for me. It was just so beautiful and awesome, and something that I hadn't felt in a while. Also, I'm trying to learn how to play instruments. I'm still in the process of learning guitar, but I'm trying to pick up a little bit of piano. Needless to say, I still suck, but I'm having fun learning it.
4. As Cressa said, my love life is effed as well. It's like the neverending story for me. Or the never story. "Woh woh shi" - Angie
5. My friends are the bomb.com
6. I love my family.
7. My relationship with God is always changing. But the way is see it, it's never boring. He keeps me on my toes.

Anyways, I wanted to post these. It's hard to limit them to 10, but I gave it my best shot.

Top 10 Pet Peeves (in no particular order):
1. When people say "I'm just saying" after they tell you something rude or uneccessary out of nowhere. For example, "The shirt you're wearing is ugly." And if you're offended, the person says, "Well, I'm just saying." You know, you don't have to "just say." If it's mean, don't say it. Or say it constructively.
2. People confusing 'your' and 'you're' Y-O-U-R spells YOUR. Y-O-U-aprostrphe-R-E spells You are.
3. Know it all's. People who act like they know everything about anything. And then, they try and teach it to you.
4. Parents who don't discipline their children. ESPECIALLY when the kid disrespects you in front of the parent, and the parent doesn't do shit. I mean, c'mon. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me. Sock it to me.
5. When people act like they are your best friend, and flaunt it. Or sharing everything about your life. Especially if they aren't your best friend.
6. Youtube stars/singers/musicians who aren't even legit singers, but act like they are the shit. Example, Rin on the Rox, Erika David, Olivia Thai, etc.
7. People who talk about themselves too much and always finding a way to let the conversation flow back to them.
8. People who think they are hot shit. I mean, I'm all for confidence and loving who you are. But there's a line people.
9. People who mad hate on people that they don't even know, or have never personally experienced something to make them hate. Which may seem like what I'm doing now, but hey, these are PEEVES.
10. When people are inappropriately loud. Like, I know I can be loud. But like, it has to be at appropriate times. Like being loud during mass or when someone is giving a talk. It's unneccessary and rude.

That's all.

don't EVER let me lose this.

Since I've starting taking voice lessons and learning more about the technical side of singing, I've realized that my purpose for singing can become blurred. the reason why I starting singing in the first place was Him. God is my reason. To give back the talents He's blessed me with to serve and to be His light and to pray twice. Although I haven't lost this and I hope to never lose this, He always finds way to remind me.
I'm not saying the technical things i'm learning aren't important. Improving and realizing what I need to work on, being challenged is something that I've never really dealt with, and I've realized that I LOVE being challenged when it comes to music/singing. I know a lot of people don't get why I want to take lessons because I already know how to sing, but I just want to use my instrument to the best of my ability & use what God gave me. And it's something I've always wanted to do.

I gave permission to someone to kick me in the face if I ever lose sight of my reason.

For some reason I keep hearing "The Reason" by Hoobastank. And the reason is yooooooooooou. and the reason in yoooooooooooooooooooou!

my top 2

picks for American Idol, as of right now are:

Adam Lambert (understudy for Fiyero in Wicked):

As Long As You're Mine (WICKED!)


Dust in the Wind


I Can't Make You Love Me




he's LEGIT. and yes, he's gay. but damn, he can saaaang.


and although his vocals aren't as impressive as Adam, my number one choice for American Idol is Anoop Desai

Hollywood Week


I'll Make Love to You (He's in an acapella group)


My Love


man i <3 him. his talking voice sounds like Kumar! LAWL.

and the REAL reason why i love him is at his first audition he goes "My name is Anoop Desai, but Randy, you can call me 'Noop Dogg."
when he said that, i was like, "Okay that guy wins."

in the past 3 days

i applied for a job.
i got a call back.
i scheduled an interview.
i went to the interview.
and i got offered a job.

WHOA.
praise God.

now... what do i do?
the job is in Laguna beach. 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. pretty good pay.
on one hand: it's a job, it's money, it's experience, and it's related towards what i want to do. AND i'm not doing anything anyway.
on the other hand: it's FAR, it's only 3 hrs a day, and the pay isn't thaat much.

i'm pretty sure i'm going to take it. but i'm going to keep praying about it.

but wow! i'm so happy!

My first time

recording in a studio.
what else? tsk tsk, dirty minds, you. lawl.

anyways! if you didn't know i've been taking voice lessons since mid-december. i think there has been minor improvements? but yeah, my vocal teacher is super awesome. if ya'll ever want me to refer you guys to him, let me know! he's always accepting new students.

but yeah, i recorded my first run-through on monday. like professional studio & all the equipement and stuff (ask nez, she's been). it's super fun, but nerve racking at the time. by next thursday i should have figured out exactly how i want to sing it, what i like and what i don't like, work on the weaker parts, and also arrange backup vocals. i'm SUPER excited.

like, i know i'm not gonna be a recording artist or whatever, and this is just for fun, and i've always wanted to learn more about music.

soooo, here you go!

Kirsten Ascio - stay - Kirsten Ascio

please comment! something constructive if possible :D

i fell in love today

isn't she lovely?

oh geez, i want to keep her forever.
sadly, she is not meant for me.
my brother & sister in law are thinking about getting her. she was born in november. she's a cockerspaniel. and i want her! they're still not sure if they want to get her or not because she's a puppy and it's a lot to take care of. but i can tell they love her too! and if you know me, i am not a dog person, but dang. when i first saw her my heart swelled. lol.

wah! i hope they get her.

i want to keep her forever!

huwhat?!

like angie, some of my thoughts aren't so good in paragraph form. so i decided to start a tumblr. i'll probably update there more, just because it's good for multimedia stuff.

holla.

http://huwhat.tumblr.com/

This is pretty accurate i think

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

yeah... very accurate.

Loosen up my.

So, I went to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with my cousins today, to my mom's dismay. She's Anti-Brad because she's Pro-Jen. Hey, I'm Pro-Aniston too, but damn, Brad Pitt is FOINE. And it's not like Angelina was in the movie or anything. I'm just saying.

ANYWAYS, the movie was awesome. I haven't watched a really good thought-provoking movie as of late, something that really gets me thinking about life, so it was a nice change. I mean, it's not as good as Forest Gump, because FG is such an epic movie, but it was still a great one. I highly recommend it, even if you don't like the adulterer.


A few of my favorite lines, which I feel apply to my life right now:

"Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life. Some people get struck by lightning. Some are born to sit by a river. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim the English Channel. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people can dance."

"Your life is defined by its opportunities... even the ones you miss."

"It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you."

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

"Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?"

"You never know what's comin' for ya."

There's so much more !
But that's all I got. GO WATCH IT!

i'm singing tomorrowwww!

with lots of other talented people!
come!

who am i?

Oh geez.

I feel like 2009 is going to be one hell of a challenge. It's only the 6th day of January and I feel like there's so much I have to overcome. I've been straying away from a lot of things, good and bad. I feel like I should break my life down:

Home. Honestly, I love being back home. Sure it can suck sometimes, but I love being able to just kick it with my family, and reconnect with people here who I've lost touch with over the past few years that I've been in Irvine. Although I do get peeved by my parents often, I love spending time with them. One of the things I love most about my mom is that I can seriously talk to her about (almost) everything. Life, love, friendship, careers, the past, present, and future, and of course gossip. I know I don't talk about home as much as some people and I don't express the love and joy that I get from being here, but I seriously cherish the moments I get to spend with my family. And not gonna lie, I love being a bum. SOMETIMES. The challenge? I know my parents still see me as a kid sometimes, probably because I still depend on them for so many things. There are still a lot of things that we struggle with. My obvious joblessness. But especially my love for Liwanag & for Interfaith. There's a lot of "Didn't you graduate" or "What are you still doing there?" which is something that frustrates me a lot.

Unemployment. Well, this is quite the situation. In my defense, the job market is not so good right now. BUT again, not gonna lie, I'm still HELLA lazy. Like, I don't (always) sit around the house not doing shit. I get a lot of stuff done (most of the time). LOL. Even though I don't have a job yet, there's still a lot on my plate. Yet again, these commitments are still, for the most part, in Irvine: Liwanag, directing for mass, majority of the people I hang out with, and now my voice lessons (GL isn't in Irvine, but it's still kinda far). I'm doing things that I love to do, but this isn't bringing me any form of income. I need a job. But hey, it's only been about 3 months since I've finished school.

Music. I don't even know where to begin this. And I don't think I can even reiterate any of the thoughts I have regarding this. And I know this category has a lot to do with what I'm talking about next. I know people have questioned as to why I started taking voice lessons, and you know, I'm not sure I can explain it. There's a lot going into it. There's so much I've realized about myself during the past few weeks. I feel like I'm redefining who I've been for the past 4 years, or at least trying to not revert away from who I've been. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I need to grow some balls. I have to push myself. And I need to find out who I am and my reason. Ahh, it'd be easier just to have a conversation about this. So, just ask me. LOL.

Faith. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I really want to have a conversation with someone about this, rather than blog. So to keep it simple, I miss You. I really need to work on being You to every aspect of my life. Especially music. It's where I found You and I need that passion back in my life. Ever since I've moved home, it's been different for me. You've been reduced to Tuesdays and Sundays and I really really really miss how I used to make You every breath that I took. I'm extremely looking forward to the first Winter quarter meeting. I've missed You and I need to work harder.

To answer my first question, who am I?
I am Yours.

it's 2009

and I find myself reverting to old ways, continuing the same habits, straying away from what I should be focusing on.

I need to work harder.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

oh what!? it's 09!

i did a few surveys cuz i'm bored:

1 Where​ did you begin​ 2008?​​
PELICAN BAY. eff, i miss that place.


2 What was your statu​s by Valen​tine'​​s Day?
single! holla. haha.

3 Were you in schoo​l any time this year?​​
YES! up until September.


4 Did you have to go to the hospi​tal?​​
Not for me, but yes.

5 Did you have any encou​nters​ with the polic​e?​​
Haha. Yes. They came to our graduation party! It was right before I ate it. Who remembers that?


6 Where​ did you go on vacat​ion?​​
I went to the Philippines during the summer! Vegas in February. Umm... I think that's it.

7 What did you purch​ase that was over $​​100?​​
Books for school -____-

8 Did you know anybo​dy who got marri​ed?​​
Yes! My cousin Ruciela! And my brother! WOOOOOO!

9 Did you know anybo​dy who passe​d away?​​
:[ yes. RIP Grandpa Loring & Tita Nancy

10 Did you move anywh​ere?​​
Yes :[
I moved back home!

11 What sport​ing event​s did you atten​d?​​
I went to almost all the Who's Necks basketball games. lol.
I went to some of Derrick's games.
And I can't remember if those UCI Men's BBall games were this year or not.

12 What conce​rts/​​ shows​ did you go to?
No concerts I don't think. I was supposed to go to Meg & Dia, but they were sold out -___-
I went to watch Wicked 3 times, so I think that counts.

13 Descr​ibe your birth​day:​​
I turned 22! I BOUGHT MY MACBOOK on my birthday. We had dinner at Olive Garden on the night of. I think we had a party at Pbay. I can't remember.

14 When was your birth​day?​​
July 2

15 What has been your favor​ite momen​ts?​​
There's way too many in a year. Just being with friends and family. Watching Wicked. Living in Irvine. Studying at CSL. Being dumb. MUSIC. jammin. LAUGHING at lot. A whole year has a lot of favorite moments.

I'm just so glad.

16 Any new addit​ions to your famil​y?​​
Yes! A Sister in law! haha.

17 What was your best month​?​​
September. or December. lol.
Actually I don't know.

18 Who has been your best drink​ing buddy​?​​
KATHEE. or Mel. lol.

19 Made new frien​ds?​​
Yes!

20 Favor​ite night​ out?
Friday or Saturday.

21 Other​ than home,​​ where​ did you spend​ most of your time?​​
Interfaith. Pbay.

22 lost a frien​d?​​
yes? and no?

23 Chang​e your hair style​?​​
I got those HORRIBLE fobby bangs in September.
and then when it grew out, I cut it again & dyed it brown.

24 Have any car accid​ents?​​
NO! I went a whole year without getting in an accident! GO ME! That's like a world record.


26 Did you have a New Years​ resol​ution​ ?
I'm pretty sure I did, but since I don't remember them, I obviously didn't keep them.

27 Do anyth​ing embar​rassi​ng?​​
Without a doubt.

28 Buy anyth​ing new from eBay?​​
nope.

29 Get marri​ed or divor​ced?​​
haha, no.

30 Get arres​ted?​​
Nope. I was thinking about doing a guns joke, but that would be fail.

31 Been snowb​oardi​ng?​​​
Not this year =[

32 Did you get sick this year?​​​
Yeup.

33 Are you happy​ to see 2008 go?
QUITE.

34 Been naugh​ty or nice?​​​
Both.

35 What are you looki​ng forwa​rd to most in 2009?​​​
Everything!

And another one


Year in review survey for 2008

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. WHAT UP.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? NOPE. I don't even remember what they are. And yes, I have made more. 1) pull an erwin aka lose weight 2) get a job and 3) get better at singing. lol.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No one close to me.

4. Did anyone close to you die? RIP Grandpa Loring & Tita Nancy

5. What countries did you visit? The Philippines

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2008? self-control

7. What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 19 - The first time I watched Wicked
April 5 - my brothers wedding!
April 26 - my last Spirit Rally as an undergrad
May 13 - Spring Banquet!!!!
June 13 - GRADUATION
July 2 - my birthday & when I bought my macbook!
August 6 - Wicked for the 3rd time!
September 18 - Our last day in Pbay.
September 28 - Mass on the Plaza
September 30 - First First Meeting as an alumni.
October 9 - When I dropped my phone in the toilet in New York.
November 21 - First Benefit Concert as an alumni.
December 15 - My first voice lesson!

ok that's a lot of dates.

I just got lazy to do the rest. ops. FAIL.

i'll do it later!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!