brand new day

today was quite the productive:

i cleaned my room for like, 3 hours. i finally made progress. as you can see in the first picture, i finally got most of my clothes in the closet. there are a few bags full of stuff i'm gonna try and sell to buffalo exchange. i'm moved the wood for my bedframe against the wall so i can actually walk in front of my closet now. there's still some stuff in there that's not mine, so i can't really do more until it's out. i actually have like 6 small unpacked boxes in the closet. haha. in the second picture i finally uprighted my bookcase, but i still have clothes on the ground. along with my mattress. oh well. soon and very soon. slowly but surely. only time will tell. the grass is greener on the other side. what other cliches are there? are those even cliches?

anyways! i also did laundry. my parents got a new washing machine a while back, but i haven't used it yet. since i did all my laundry for the past 2 years at pbay (sad face). it's so freaking technical. there's like an option FOR EVERYTHING. AND... yeah. i can't think of anything else. it took me forever to get my load started. that sounds weird. moving on...

i love tv. goes without saying. well apparently not, since i just said it. heroes was bomb. better than last week. i'm gonna watch himym after this blog.

went to irvine for the 8th time since i've moved home. that's a lot, considering i've been home for like.. 10 days. grrreat. i feel the fight with my parents coming soon. there was already a preview on sunday morning right before i left for motp. i'm gonna try to not upset her in the next few days, so i can still go out and play.

my lola isn't here. her room is empty & it looks like her stuff is gone. she was here when i left, i dno where she is now. i'm thinking she's either at my aunties house or at a home? but i hope she's okay.

tomorrow? i have a dentist appt in the morning, i should be sleeping right now. my appt is at 9. gonna see if i can clean more, do some more laundry, pick up my contacts in irvine. then LIWANAG FIRST MEETING!!! WHAT UP!!!!!!

i'm excited. but nervous. apparently i'm old now too. weeeird.

goodnight!

at first i was afraid, i was petrified.

from the bottom of my heart

THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.
There are not enough so's in the world to thank you guys for all that you have done for the past month and a half. Thank you so much for your sacrifice, not just for me & mel or for UCC, but for Him. From the bottom of my heart I appreciate it, but I know that last night He was up there smiling. And I'm sure He was dancing along too.

DUDE, YOU GUYS SOUNDED SO FREAKIN' GOOD!!!!! NO JOKE! I can't tell you how many people came up to me and told me how amazingly beautiful you guys sounded. AND I'm not a great conversationalist, so many of those conversations were awkward. haha. BUT IT'S ALL GOOD!
Sorry if i made awkward huge smiling faces during mass, it's only because hearing you guys makes me smile awkwardly big!

Erwin asked me yesterday "So what are you going to do with your life?" and I DON'T KNOW! What am I going to do without you guys?! Thanks for making this whole process stress free AND FUN! Practices rarely stressed me out, because you guys made it fun and awesome! You guys really made this easier for me! I'm going to miss you guys!

To Choir:
Thank you for being patient with me when I didn't know what I was doing, musically or in general! Thank you for making this a prayer & really taking it seriously. I could see it in all of your faces, how much you loved praising Him and giving your all. It truly inspires me. You guys sounded like angels, no joke.

To the VERY VERY VERY talened musicians:
zOMG. You guys are SERIOUSLY rockstars. Freakin' MOTP ALL STAR BAND. Thank you so much for bringing your own style & talent into this family. IT WAS AWESOME. You guys made the music FUN and DIFFERENT, but still so prayerful. CAN WE START A BAND?!?!?!

To MEL:
THANK YOU SO MUCH MEL. For everything! All the hard work, THE COPIES, organizing! Being patient with me. I seriously could not have done this without you. You are seriously so awesome. Not just as a musician but as a leader AND an awesome friend. Thank you for listening to me rant. And making sure that I'm okay when I'm emo. I can't thank you enough! Not just for motp, but for EVERYTHING MEL. I LOVE YOU! (now, you better not use that against me.)

Finally, this has been one of the hardest weeks I've had in a long time, outside of motp, and you guys seriously made all the troubles disappear. Thank you for making me smile.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

<333, Kirsten

YOU GUYS ARE HOTTTT!

ps. YOU GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL!
pps. MOTP CHOIR HANGOUT! THIS SUNDAY!!!! more info to follow!

before i leave

this has been one of the hardest weeks i've had in a long time
but, it was worth it for You

MASS ON THE PLAZA 2008!!!!!
TODAY, Sunday, September 28!
@the Engineering Plaza!

ps. despite the struggles, there were still a lot of times to smile. thank you :D

reunited and it feels so good

i'm at shawshank now, staying in bellamay, abby, & anna's room. thanks anna for letting me stay on your bed! kathee! if you were here, it would old roommates reunited. anyways, i just like being on my laptop, and listening to friends having conversations as i blog. i can hear abby showering and krystle diane calling bellamay on her cell, even if she's upstairs.

i love being in irvine.

i know i've only been gone for a week & i've been here almost every day. but just being here feels awesome.

motp is tomorrow. what. the. eff. it came up so fast. we're ready. i mean, sure things won't sound perfect or go over just as we rehearse, but hey as long as we're doing it for Him than it's gonna be all g in the h. good in the hood, my friend. good in the hood.

i'm still in "what the eff" mode right now.

i'm pretty sleepy right now. i've had a long day. even i don't have school or a job right now. ughh. damn.

ok. i'm gonna copy bellamay:
goodnight abby!
goodnight bellamay!
goodnight kim (even if you're sleeping already)!
goodnight krystle!
goodnight jamie!
goodnight anna, i wish you were here!

weeeee.

therapy

there are a lot of things that get me through the hard times. i got to use three of my favorites today: conversational therapy, retail therapy, & television therapy.

conversational
thanks for returning my call today :) it was really nice talking to you. thanks for listening to me vent, whine, complain, & cry. it hasn't been the first time. hopefully we can catch up more soon. thanks to all the people who i had good convos with today on aim, you know who you are. i also had awesome times at lunch with my brother, kathee, and her uncle (or my brother's cousin-in-law, whichever you prefer). food & conversation = foosational therapy? nope.

retail
i hit up Manila Arts & Trade with my mom today. i was looking for filipino stuff to wear for motp this sunday. i found something! it's not super fancy, but it's better than the same thing i've worn for 3 years. anyways, it's cool. i also went to target, but didn't get anything :[ but i did get 2 pairs of shoes at payless. hollaaaaa. i need to buy a pencil skirt tomorrow. i'm going to go shopping before i head to campus to help with the boothing.

and lastly, a love of my life,
television
DAMN it was awesome today. i only caught 2 of my 3 shows: The Office & Grey's Anatomy. DUDE THE OFFICE. THE OFFICE was freaking awesome. i watched it twice already. there are so many good things that came out of that. changed my life a little bit. my face hurt from laughing. Grey's was good too. it was a little intense i think. tried to fit a lot in one episode (you were right, Fran). but yeah. it was good nonetheless. looks like the seasons are off to a good start. i didn't get to watch ugly betty yet. hopefully i'll catch it soon.

i know i'm obsessed with tv. but whatever, it helps me not think about my own problems and let's me focus on other people's drama.

i heard this song like 4 times today.

anyways, i've got a long day tomorrow.
i'll leave you with this

Fairytales don't come true.
Reality is much stormier,
much murkier,
much scarier.
Reality is much more interesting than living happily ever after.

goodnight.

ps. please keep praying for my grandma.

time

since i've been driving back and forth to irvine everyday since sunday, i've had a lot of time to think about things. i don't usually like to have this excess time to think, because there are a lot of things that i'd rather not think about.

timing is everything . i've experienced a lot of bad timing in my life, and now is no exception. i really wished i moved back home later. i wish i could be in irvine right now, surrounded by you guys, and not here. like, i love being home but things are really hard right now. but i know this is where i should be.

if i stayed in irvine longer, who knows what would have happened. lawl.

i think you're being selfish.

although the timing is terrible, i've realized that this is the best for things. it's now time for me to move on, forget about you, and really start living. being who i'm supposed to be. i can't let you hold me down and hold me back forever. i know i'm better than this.

i really thought, and i still do think so sometimes, that i needed you. but i know who my real friends are. and to anna, bellamay&abby (via anna. lol) erwin & kathee. thanks for helping me see what's up. i think if i didn't have liwanag & motp choir right now, i'd go crazy.

on to more shallow things, i got a terrible haircut yesterday. don't say i didn't warn you, next time you see me. my philippines fob-status haircut is back in effect from last summer. hopefully i can get it fixed soon. thinking about dyeing it to, something more "adult-like" and presentable for interviews and stuff. my mom says i look "too punky" haha.

motp is this sunday. i mean, of course i'm stressed, but i still feel good about it. i guess my life has to come to a halt until sunday.


well, sorry this was such a downer blog. hopefully i don't have a lot of those in the next few posts.

please pray for my grandma.
and throw a couple of those bad boys out there for me.

peace friends.
off to have lunch with some awesome people.

you and me

We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end

i guess that's it.
don't ever tell me i didn't try.

goodbye.

my favorite time of the school year

WELCOME WEEEEEEK!!!!!!

even if i'm not a student, i still love the rush of it all. new faces and excitement of trying to get people to join liwanag. WOOOOOOOO. i mean, sure, there's the pitfall of being rejected by people who "pretend" to be on the phone, but it's all good.

we've got a prime time spot this year, right in front of Langson Library. last year, we had crappy spots all the way by Humanities. The drawback is that we're in Douchebag City by all the frats. haaaa. all goood.

I have a feeling the rest of the week is gonna be De-wait for it-lightful! Delightful! Speaking of delightful things, fall tv has started! WHAT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last night i watch Heroes! AND IT WAS AWESOME! and when i got home, i watch How I Met Your Mother on cbs.com. whooooo. man, it was awesome. I didn't get to watch Gossip Girl yet. Does anyone know if that plays online anywhere?

Well, I think we're gonna pack up soon? Or now. I'm gonna run outta battery soon.

so PEACE.

i really want to kick it with you

you'll be my american boy.
that song is stuck in my head right now. i just fell asleep for like... 10 seconds. i'm so tired right now, but i wanted to blog.

funny thing is, i don't know what to say. but it's okay! today was a good day. had brunch and pho for dinner, hung out w/ some of my favorite people. had good times and had good laughs.

although at the end of the night, instead of driving home to pbay i drove to my house. and i was mad tired & almost falling asleep on the road. that is a big time no no.

this week is a big week. welcome week. holla. it's one of my favorite times of the school year. on the reals. i love it. it's going to be different this year, being not a student anymore. that's weird.

i wish i had more time. i mean that in so many ways. i wish i had more time in the summer. i wish i had more time now. if i had more time now, i could probably fit you in my schedule.

ok, i keep falling asleep.
goodnight, friends.

chapter 1: transitions

i doubt i'm going to keep this chapter thing up. but since this is the first post coming from my new home, which was my old home, i figure this is the first chapter. well, this whole "my life is a book" metaphor doesn't really pan out. does that mean the other parts of my life were in a different book, or different chapters? but then, does that mean this new chapter isn't chapter one, it's like... chapter 4? i have no idea. oh well.

the blog title should be NEW chapter: transitions. but that wouldn't be as cool

anyways... this is my first blog from home. my room is totally ridiculous right now. seriously. it's like... my mattress in the middle of the room surrounded by piles of pants on one side, with my desk in one corner, but the place where you sit is up against the wall. my "desk" right now is my bookcase turned on it's side, with the shelves piled up on top on the other side of my mattress. at the foot of my "bed" are stacks of wood for my loft, which are lying in front of my closet. that makes it quite difficult to put my clothes in. my tv is in one corner, with no cable. aaand i have my brother's childhood artwork/school projects strewn about the room. you can see most of this to your <<=== left. i have to bags full of stuff i'm gonna try to sell to buffalo, but i doubt they're gonna take it. those picky bastards. like, i don't even know what are in those boxes anymore. a lot of them say "kirsten's crap" on them. i cleaned a lot yesterday before erwin's dinner. i wasn't even able to fit my bed before that, but i knew i had to unless i wanted to sleep on the couch. i think my room is gonna look pretty much like this for the next 2 weeks. even though i'm moved home there's still so much i have to do in irvine. welcome week tabling, servant leader mass, motp choir practices, motp, first meeting. ay. hopefully i'll clean a little bit every day. you know what is really ridiculous though? my mom keeps telling me to put stuff away, BUT i don't have anywhere to put it. you know why? because my closet is full OF EVERYONE ELSE'S STUFF. gah. i went to a wedding today. one of my brother's best friends, brian, married my brother's wife's best friend, candice! crazy. they all went to UCI too. anyways, i finally got my camera back from my parents, so hopefully i'll post pictures soon. if i can ever find the cord to connect my camera to my laptop. my uncle, who i call my cousin because he's only 20 and it's easier to say than explain how my uncle is younger than me, from japan was in town today. he's half japanese half filipino. but like... he's hella japanese washed. it's awesome. he's in a band and he plays drums. i took a picture of him and my brother and he did the fob peace signs. it was great. hopefully i'll post pictures of that soon. SO, even though i'm home now, it really doesn't feel like it yet. because i'm still all up ins the irvine mix. it hasn't hit me that I'M HOME. like, i'm sad. but i haven't realized it yet. i'm still in this "oh yeah this is awesome i get to fix up my room" phase. i do miss my apartment, especially my roommates (kathee, bellamay, abby, and you too, dean). i'm still in this weird transition phase, where nothing is settled yet. i mean, i'm sad. but i don't think i've really been SAD SAD yet.

well, i think i've blabbered on for too long.
goodnight.

<<---- this is me, being "sad" in my ridiculously messy room. oh yeah, before i leave i've got a lot of shout outs: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERWIN, ANGIE, FRANNY, KATHEE, & KAYLENE!
CONGRATULATIONS MR.&MRS. HANSEN!

this is oddly accurate.

saw this on Franny's blog, decided to give it a go.

You entered: Kirsten B-------z A----o

There are 21 letters in your name.
Those 21 letters total to 101
There are 8 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Scottish	Female	Variant of Kirsty: Christian. A Scottish variant of Christina.
Scandinavian	Female	Christian. Scandinavian form of Christine.
Norse	Female	Christian.
Latin	Female	Variant of Christiana. Follower of Christ.
Greek	Female	Christian.
English	Female	Variant of Christine, Christina, and Christiana. Follower of Christ.
Danish	Female	Christian.

Your number is: 2

The characteristics of #2 are: Cooperation, adaptability, consideration of others, partnering, mediating.

The expression or destiny for #2:
A number 2 Expression gives you the tools to work very well with other people. Your destiny is in the role of the mediator and the peacemaker. In many ways you are dependent on others and seem to function best in a partnership or in some form of group activity. Modesty runs deep in your nature, and you can work comfortably without recognition of your accomplishments. Often, others get credit for your ideas, and this is of little real concern to your since you are such a willing team player. As you grow in this direction, you become sensitive to the feelings of others, you are ever diplomatic in handling complicated situations. Cooperative, courteous, and considerate, you have the capacity to become an outstanding facilitator. You know how to organize and handle people. You are a good detail person because you rarely overlook anything. Tactful and friendly, nearly everyone likes you.

The negative 2 personality can be over-sensitive and easily hurt. Too much of this number in your makeup can make you very shy and uncertain. Sometimes the excessive 2 energies makes one apathetic and somewhat indifferent to the job at hand; the ability to handle details is hampered in these cases.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means:
The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.

In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit

-------------------------------------------------------------------

so much of this is true, especially right now.

another early morning

this has been my 6th consecutive early morning. my reason for being awake early today is because i'm getting my wisdom teeth out. i haven't been making a big deal out of it, but i'm actually pretty scared. not a fan of the pain.

this whole wisdom teeth thing is a part of my "insurance ends in october, so i need to take care of everything" phase. hence, new contacts and my desire to go to the doctor for my ankle & eye twitch.

i'm scheduled for 8:30, so i should really go.

peace.

this is new

since i know i won't be posting on here just yet, i'm not going to publicize this one.
see ya.