time

since i've been driving back and forth to irvine everyday since sunday, i've had a lot of time to think about things. i don't usually like to have this excess time to think, because there are a lot of things that i'd rather not think about.

timing is everything . i've experienced a lot of bad timing in my life, and now is no exception. i really wished i moved back home later. i wish i could be in irvine right now, surrounded by you guys, and not here. like, i love being home but things are really hard right now. but i know this is where i should be.

if i stayed in irvine longer, who knows what would have happened. lawl.

i think you're being selfish.

although the timing is terrible, i've realized that this is the best for things. it's now time for me to move on, forget about you, and really start living. being who i'm supposed to be. i can't let you hold me down and hold me back forever. i know i'm better than this.

i really thought, and i still do think so sometimes, that i needed you. but i know who my real friends are. and to anna, bellamay&abby (via anna. lol) erwin & kathee. thanks for helping me see what's up. i think if i didn't have liwanag & motp choir right now, i'd go crazy.

on to more shallow things, i got a terrible haircut yesterday. don't say i didn't warn you, next time you see me. my philippines fob-status haircut is back in effect from last summer. hopefully i can get it fixed soon. thinking about dyeing it to, something more "adult-like" and presentable for interviews and stuff. my mom says i look "too punky" haha.

motp is this sunday. i mean, of course i'm stressed, but i still feel good about it. i guess my life has to come to a halt until sunday.


well, sorry this was such a downer blog. hopefully i don't have a lot of those in the next few posts.

please pray for my grandma.
and throw a couple of those bad boys out there for me.

peace friends.
off to have lunch with some awesome people.